Its all been a bit quiet of late....no big machines, just the birdsong in the morning and the gentle snoring of the dog on the sofa in the evening.....

I had this telephone call a few weeks ago......

"Is that Mr Salmon??? Can I interest you in our window cleaning service???"

"well yes" I said....normaly unsolicited calls get a fair amount of abuse, but this one was different.

" How many windows do you have?" the lady asked

I had sipped a few mouthfuls of red wine, but managed to calculate that the ground floor would be around 40...

"Its around 40, but some of them are very big" I was truthful certainly as the majority were around 2.5 metres by 2 metres!!!!

" Oh, it doesn't matter about the the size" she exclaimed....."its all swings and roundabouts"

I thought...well its not strictly true if you've got 36 roundabouts and only 4 swings but she seemed happy to offer a quote over the phone.......£36 !!!!!!!

I almost fell off my perch...." Yes , I accept", "but can I suggest someone looks at the house as its rather different from the normal" I tried to explain.

Over the last few weeks I had three calls to confirm the cleaners would arrive today. Each time I suggested they should view the property before confirming a cost......." No, They said, that will not be necessary.

They phoned yesterday to confirm they would call today......

I was in most of the day as we had deliveries, Huf people coming back to do work and various others doing work, so I was in all day.....no window cleaners......

I reckon they came up the hill, saw all that glass and said "******* Hell", Sod that for a game of soldiers" and promptly sped off in the other direction. !!!

In fact there are 72 windows in total...oh and the velux makes 74...I guess I'l have to get my squeezy blade out tomorrow.................

I'm doing a level survey and putting it on AutoCad for the Landscape Architect...she will then design a garden to die for....that's if I haven't fallen off my ladder trying to reach the far corners of those big windows with my squeezy!!!!!